Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me? - Frank Zappa

Honey honey, hey

Baby don’t you want a man like me

Honey honey, hey

Baby don’t you want a man like me

He was the Playboy Type (he smoked a pipe)

His fav’rite phrase was «OUTA-SITE!»

He had an Irish Setter

(Hrtch-a-pltch

Hrtch-a-pltch

Hrtch-a-pltch

Arf!)

It was a singles bar, a Tuesday night

The moon was dim, the band was tight

They did the Bump together

What a splendid sight

(Roon doon doon doon)

Her teeth were white

(Oo-ah oo-oooh)

The drinks were cheap (it was Ladies Nite)

He was glad that he met her

She was an office girl («My name is Betty»)

Her fav’rite group was HELEN REDDY

(They discussed the weather)

Honey honey, hey

Baby don’t you want a man like me

Honey honey, hey

Baby don’t you want a man like me

Honey honey, hey

Baby don’t you want a

Baby don’t you want a

Baby don’t you want a

Man!

She was a lonely sort, just a little too short

Her jokes were dumb and her fav’rite sport

Was hockey (in the winter)

He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest

Any sport with a PUCK had to be 'bout the best

As he jabbed his elbow in her (get it honey? Get it?)

Later on they went off to where the music was soft

The candles were drippy, they saw a REAL HIPPY

Who delivered their dinner

The rice was brown, and soon they found

That the crowd around that had jammed the room

Well it seemed to be getting thinner

Honey honey, hey

Baby don’t you want a man like me

Honey honey, hey

Baby don’t you want a man like me

Honey honey, hey

Baby don’t you want a

Baby don’t you want a

Baby don’t you want a

Man!

He took her home to a motor court

She would not kiss him, he tried to ignore it

But it made him angry!

(Angry! It made me angry!

Why it made me so angry

I COULD HAVE KILLED THAT LOUSY BITCH!)

He called her a slut

(Slut slut slut. . .)

A pig

(Pig pig pig. . .)

And a whore

(Whore whore whore. . .)

A bitch

(Bitch bitch bitch. . .)

And a cunt

(Cunt cunt cunt. . .)

And she slammed the door

(The door!)

In a petulant frenzy!

(A petulant frenzy!

This is a petulant

Frenzy!

I’m petulant

And I’m having a frenzy!)

On the sofa she weeps

BOO HOO HOO HOO

She weeps and she weeps

BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO

She weeps and she peeps

Through the curtain

He just got in his car

But the battery’s dead

So he asked to use the phone

And she gives him some head

And that’s the end of the story

Honey honey, hey

Baby don’t you want a man like me

Honey honey, hey

Baby don’t you want a man like me

Honey honey, hey

Baby don’t you want a

Baby don’t you want a

Baby don’t you want a

Man!

Baby don’t you want a man sometimes?