Pride - Alaska Thunderfuck

Citizens of earth, it’s that time

Pride comes but once per year

And if pride were an acronym I believe it would stand for the following

Perseverance, resistance, insistence, devotion, emotion

Now, are there any bears here tonight?

Oh, so many, I feel just like Goldilocks

And if that one’s too hard, and that one’s too soft, I’ll keep searching till I

find one that’s just right

Pride is not just an excuse for us to dance shirtlessly and get wasted in the

daytime, no

As important as those traditions are, we must remember our brave brothers and

sisters who paved the way for us to be here today

And most of all, we must always remember the many many hundreds of people who

died at Stonewall

A- what- wait I’m getting a message in my earpiece

Uhum, oh, no one died at Stonewall?

Oh oh, Stunning

Don’t run and hide

Come take a ride

Just come inside

Cause bitch it’s pride

So move aside

I’m dignified

Happy pride, at Stonewall no one died

Cracking fans, throwing shade

Cracking fans, throwing shade

Cracking fans, throwing shade

Cracking fans, throwing shade

Cracking fans, throwing shade

Cracking fans, throwing shade

Cracking fans, throwing shade

Cracking fans, throwing shade

I’d like to take a moment to discuss the dresscode

And no, I’m not talking about the exciting new fragrance by Ivy Winters

This is a notice concerning all tops, whether they be tube, tank our blouse

variety

No sleeves allowed!

And if you’re wearing a romper, please be romping

And if you’re wearing a jumper, please be jumping

And if you’re wearing a top, please, and this is very important

All tops must be cropped

All tops must be cropped

All tops must be cropped

And if you’re in drag today, please, don’t be a heroine

You’re six inch stilettos have no place here, heels be gone!

For pride and for conferences alike, heels are no longer mandatory

If you’re not wearing flats, you’re not doing drag!

Now, do you have a fan?

Please grab it, okay, are you ready?

Are you in

position?

Okay, just checking, alright, okay, you ready?

Okay

Now do the Vivacious!

Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack,

crack, crack, crack, do the Vivacious!

Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack,

crack, crack, crack, do the Vivacious!

Cracking fans, throwing shade

Cracking fans, throwing shade

Cracking fans, throwing shade

Cracking fans, throwing shade

Cracking fans, throwing shade

Cracking fans, throwing shade

Cracking fans, throwing shade

Cracking fans, throwing shade

And so I want to wish you all a very and prosperous pride season

Whether you be red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo girl or Violet Chachki

Stay hydrated, eat something delicious, wear sunscreen and leopard print

And most of all, remember the words of a wise philosopher who once said

Anusthing is possible!

Pri-i-i-i-ide