Nice Iced Pavement (Parody of "Ice Ice Baby") - ApologetiX

Yo, see my tree!

It’s Christmas!

Nice iced pavement

Nice iced pavement

All-night shopping — I had to take a list in

Ice is packed on my windshield — it glistens

Some kid said the roads will be icy

Closed up the shop when I paid and left light speed

Will this weather stop?

Yo, I don’t know

Scrape off the ice — it won’t go!

Through the extremes I walk on ice ‘cause my van won’t

Start up -- it seems I need a jump or I can’t go

And — I’m wearin' sneakers not boots

They’re fillin' with rain looks like I’m going to be slush soon

Lovely — man, my baby toe’s killin' me

And I didn’t dress to the best of my ability

Rough or leave it — you bet I can’t stay

The weather is cold out and it’s no sleigh

Guess I’ve got a problem — no one saw it

Just have to hope for a heat wave to thaw it

Nice iced pavement

A really nice iced pavement

A really nice iced pavement

A really nice iced pavement

A really

Now, I’ll get my battery jumpin'

Triple A checks in but I think he’s not comin'

Says there’s no point in appointment makin'

«Look at them streets, guy, the plows can’t take it

Minimum of a six-hour window»

I go crazy when I hear that info

I hide that — what a screwed-up trip, though

I wanna roll — it’s time to throw snowballs

Throwin' maybe five or so

So my rage stopped now but my hands just froze

Don’t really understand why I’m waitin' just to pray, right?

Did you start?

No, I just nosedived

Slipped on a sewer grate I stepped on

I bust my lip and now my head is oozin' red stuff

I talked with God, yo, and I continued to

Pray and pray

Different attitude!

Nerves were shot, but I’m blessed, yes indeedy

Often troubles drive a man who’s needy

To Jesus

‘Cause about then I find

A manger display and I knew it was a sign

Ready for a jump after all

I jump like Jack-be-nimble ‘cause I’m full of faith, y’all

From God — sprang up like a well

I grab my side ‘cause I hurt myself

Falling on the concrete feels bad

But something bizarre — came out of that

Suffered some bumps there, I have a bruised back

I’m tryin' to find my way back home but I feel jacked

But peaceful and serene — you know what I mean?

And that’s enough -- I’m lovin' all the snow scenes

If I got some problems, yo, He’ll solve ‘em

Just have to look how He keeps Earth revolvin'

Nice iced pavement

A really nice iced pavement

A really nice iced pavement

A really nice iced pavement

A really

Make heat ‘cause I’m a really cold poet

My head has lost some steam from encasing it in snow, it’s

Like mounds of mashed potatoes on my face now

I’d love to take and stick coals on the ground

If it sounds like I’m cynical still

People, my disposition is chill

But tucked in and warm with the help of a compress

Would make it nice --- with a ton of gifts

Christmas displays guide my way

Lights that can singe ya

What?

That’s my neighbor’s place!

So glad — on the street I just ran

You’re right;

that was dumb -- I fell on ice again

Remind me, won’t ya, that it’s time to get boots

But tonight’s not the night while I sip my soup

With those other problems, yo, He’ll solve ‘em

Just got me home now -- He’ll be there for all of ‘em

Nice iced pavement

A really nice iced pavement

A really nice iced pavement

A really nice iced pavement

A really

Snow, man, let’s get out of here

Worst weather ever!

Nice iced payment — too cold

Nice iced payment — too cold, too cold

Nice iced payment — too cold, too cold

Nice iced payment — too cold, too cold

Under the weather

Under the weather

Weather, weather