Don Christopher - Bishop Allen

The day the great explorer came

The countess slapped the kitchen maid

And snapped at her, «Bring the plates out faster!»

The count sneered down as he surveyed

The table flush and fully laid

He always was a mean and vicious master

And all of Barcelona, quick and heaving, thick with throng

Stretched to see Columbus as his train just inched along

The day the great explorer came, they shouted out his blessed name, hurrah!

He dined between the king and queen

The admiral of the ocean seas

I do believe they named him governor

He spoke of spice and sweet perfume

Of golden flowers, heavy bloom

Jealously, the count and countess hovered

With every new delight described, the count was seen to wince

«In my own house, he dares to spout his brazen arrogance»

He dined between the king and queen, the viceroy of Indians, hurrah!

«Don Christopher, do tell me please

Was it really such a feat?»

The count spit out to looks wonder

«A voyage of, what, five short weeks?

One any man could lead with ease

For this, these trinkets and this plunder»

He tried to hide his greedy eyes that sparkled cruel and cold

For he, like all of Spain, could only see that fate of gold

«Don Christopher, do tell me please, do tell me, «hurrah!

The great explorer shook his head

And called out for a pantry egg

The challenge, make it stay upright

When all had tried and all had failed

He lopped the tip right off the shell

And stood it as the table roared out in delight

But now that I’ve showed you exactly how it’s done

Any fool could manage easily enough

The great explorer shook his head;

he shook his head, hurrah!