Plain Jane Fat Ass - Cast Recording

IVY

Hey Romeo, you coming?

JASON

In a sec

NADIA

Congratulations Romeo

Dad will be excited

JASON

Yeah looking forward to that conversation

NADIA

Now, dont forget that behind every great man is a dim witted sister who just

wants to be fed

Nurse!

Who knew?!

I thought for sure i’d get peasant number 8!

Or jelly

spinsters number 3

JASON

I know you have more confidence in your acting than that!

NADIA

Oh i do!

I know a girl full of confidence.

Yes, whenever she’s full, she’s a confident girl.

She’ll have your piece of pie-

Then inhale another ten

There’s a thin girl inside her with twelve of her friends.

Hips that could bear you a buffalo

JASON

Longhorn?

NADIA

Ass thats so vast I could block out the sun

JASON

You know that you’re insane

NADIA

I’m a caution for the vain.

Mothers say 'Well, dear there’s fat, then there’s Jane.'

Plain Jane fat ass

Guilty of swallowing Jenny Craig whole

Plane Jane fat ass

Keeping society so ill at ease and loving her role.

JASON

Why are you so hard on yourself?

NADIA

Why are you such an over achiever?

NADIA|JASON

Mom |

Dad

JASON

Nadia, it’s just that I know you’d be happier-

NADIA

Okay, kiddo- I didn’t spend thousand of dollars on private golf lessons

so you could quit the team sophomore year.

JASON

It’s mind over matter-

NADIA

If you keep your mind focused-

JASON

We just want you to be happy…

NADIA

To make us happy…

But why can’t the fat girl play Juliet?

It’s the plumpest of roles, so then why not pick me?

JASON

It’s just a stupid show

NADIA

Says the dashing Romeo

Well, I’ve played a servant four years in a row.

But I’ll have the last laugh- you bet your ass.

Hurt me?

You can’t- I have mounds of thick skin.

Beating high school doesn’t last, and someday, I have a hunch

That I’ll eat them for breakfast and shit them for lunch.

Plain Jane fat ass

Hungry for love, she’s a sesitive soul

Plain Jane fat ass

Keeping society so ill at ease and loving her role.