Captain Wanker - David Wilcox

Captain Wanker hits the gas he’s driving like his head’s on fire

Captain Wanker swerves to pass shouting over squealing tires

Captain Wanker always gets annoyed

That the drones on the freeway have to be destroyed

Blasting 'em into the void makes him feel overjoyed

Captain Wanker scans the crowd and calculates a quick way through

Captain Wanker thinks out loud like all super heroes do

Captain Wanker is so debonair

Cutting through a crowd of people like he just don’t care

He ducks into a nearby phone booth and he just stays in there

A skintight suit, try to hide it

A skintight suit, stuck inside it

A skintight suit under his clothes

His pride will hide the side that no one knows

Captain Wanker grunts and groans as if he wanted someone to help

Captain Wanker makes it known, he has to save the world himself

Captain Wanker always feels afraid

That if he trusted anybody he could be betrayed

Workers all get overpaid, and help never makes the grade

A skintight suit, try to hide it

A skintight suit, stuck inside it

A skintight suit under his clothes

His pride will hide the side that no one knows

Captain Wanker V.I.P., a better man than all of the rest

Captain Wanker stands for me, the W is on my chest

Captain Wanker is my shadow side

And he’ll fight for justice and a sense of pride

Shoving everybody else aside, he will not be denied

A skintight suit, a jelly belly

A skintight suit, it’s gettin' smelly

A skintight suit under his clothes

His pride will hide the side that no one knows