SONIA - Jamila Woods

Once upon a time little girl on the grind

Met a boy he was nice at the time

Weeks from the days, plans they were made

Soon you could call them an item

Funny how a title makes them think they own you

Tellin' you how to dress and who to talk to

Fella please don’t nobody ask you

My great great granny was born a slave

She found liberation before the grave

Who you tellin' how to behave?

Oh I’m trying to forgive but can’t forget…

It was bad

It was bad

It was bad

It was bad

It was the crying that was bad

It was the lying that was bad

It was the blaming that was bad

The self-hating that was bad

It was the waiting that was bad

It was the doubting that was bad

It was the screaming that was bad

The fear of leaving that was bad

Once upon a time, I believed in lines

Like «I just wasn’t good enough for you"and other lies

Mr. «Didn't miss the water till the well was dry»

Tried and I tried, compromise, compromise

It was pouring into you while emptying me

It was rationalizing all your toxicity

It was hands around my neck with us on my back

It was pressure, pain, and panic attacks

Had me faded to the wire, putting out my fire

Use to have requirements that turned into desires

Expected to retire me while keeping you inspired

All the women in me are tired

Listen nigga

My abuela ain’t survive several trips around the sun

So I could give it to somebody’s undeserving son

This pussy don’t pop for you, booty don’t bop for you

Never owe none, belong to no one

Now I only trust patterns, not apologies

First date questions: what’s your ideologies?

Do you love yourself?

Are you healing your trauma?

What’s your concept of wealth?

Do you check on yo mama?

'Cause your loyalty ain’t slavery, sis

That shit insulting to her bravery sis

I know you tangled but this life is no exchange for your laboring sis

Withhold ya flavors, he unsavory sis, sis

I remember saying no to things that happened anyway

I remember feeling low the mirror took my face away

I couldn’t recognize her, I laid and cried 'til my

Tears washed the kitchen tiles, I swear I couldn’t budge

But then I talked about it 'til momma sister cousin

Told me they went thru it and since it’s in my blood

I knew I could do it cuz if my blood went thru it

I knew I could endure it, I knew that I could heal it

Oh I’m trying to forgive but can’t forget…

It was bad

It was bad

It was bad

It was bad

It was the crying that was bad

It was the lying that was bad

It was the blaming that was bad

The self-hating that was bad

It was the waiting that was bad

It was the doubting that was bad

It was the screaming that was bad

The fear of leaving that was bad