Dear Santa -

dear santa, the thing is this year has been lame

it always seemed,

I always dreamed by now i’d have someone else’s last name

way past grown, sleeping in a shrunken bed

all alone, unless you count the squatters tearing up my head

tried so hard to be good all year long

and we are all inherently bad, anne frank had it wrong

santa, oh santa, where were you last night?

i asked for nothing, i even left some cookies right

by the open window, i don’t have a chimney, just a heart of gold, you see

imagine my surprise that not even santa wants cookies from me dear santa, could you use a 6 foot 1 elf?

i’m sick of taking stock from this widow’s walk,

up here searching for myself

is there any way i could hop aboard your sleigh?

take a holiday, leave the work to me, your red-nosed blue jay

when people say the joy you bring’s a children’s thing, does it sting?

'cuz i will ring silver bells & sing you’re as real as martin luther king

santa, oh santa, where were you last night?

i asked for nothing, i even left some cookies right

by the open window, i don’t have a chimney, just a heart of gold, you see

imagine my surprise that not even santa wants cookies from me chocolate chip.

oatmeal raisin.

gingerbread, too.

a full selection from my convection in little shapes of you

free flowing ho-ho-ing's a lot for one man’s jaws

if you’re feelin' brittle, i can bake a little mrs.

for your claws/claus

santa, oh santa, where were you last night?

i asked for nothing, i even left some cookies right

by the open window, i don’t have a chimney, just a heart of gold, you see

imagine my surprise that not even santa wants cookies from me