BITS part 2 - The Fear - Jean Grae

Sometimes, melancholy appeasement

Is better than the feeling in my head

I’m trying to lean towards betterment

I’m trying not to feel forced sentiments

It’s kinda like the cinammon challenge

Everyone’s like, «I can do it!», then you’re spitting and off-balance

And balance is key for your battles, you ask me

The last three to battle me just balanced on asphalt

And that ass fell

I as well, dry spell, desert

Cos I don’t do invaluable endeavours

So I’d rather be present and president

Of my tail feathers by my goddamn self, hm

Clever, yes I am

My letterman jacket is the whole damn alphabet

The Greek-Roman alphabet

Heiroglyphs, Malkovich, climb inside my mind

And have some Alpha-Bits

We could do calculus

Yes I have a calibre

I don’t take phallus or status over conversation stamina

Not hummina-hummina conversation stamina

I mean common denominator chatter

Interests, teach me something

That keeps me wanting to keep learning to keep coming

Back for more, score, flaws, don’t see 'em

If we got the foundation

I don’t want the concealer or the make-up or the base

Oh lord, trace me like you’re applying for art school

I’ll sit on a stool, ask questions

It’s pleasant when somebody has attention centered

We all want a bit of orbiting

Nobody wants to be the morbid maudlin

I like to be around your frame often

I should tell you more

Consider this the place card I put in my hand with my heart

I’ll probably leave it adjacent to your hand

So I don’t damage it far, because it’s hard

But my main intentions are…

Slices of me cross-sectioned like tree trunks

Open for your reading if you need or want

Feeling all jittery

And my placement of arms is less than suave

I guess it’s odd, I’m normally very nonchalant

So mazel-tov on that

For throwing me off my guard, hard

So I’m automatically audibly sort of «Oh, drat»

Caught up in old patterns

Some days I wake up like, today it’s gonna happen

I’ll embrace him in the way, there’s no evasive action

And then I’ll tell him all the ways he makes my state enraptured

Face him to face with absolute and base attraction

But it’s more, so I fail

Capital «F» circled with a red pen

And a tail-note saying «64,»

«Just tell him he’s the one and you could pass the shit course»

But I freeze up and never do more

He’s that memory card

That I keep turnin' over, hopin' that it’ll match

I got a keep it pretty sober man, whenever we pass

I wanna need him in the fall

The future, the past

Fuckin' 5.30pm, 3.20am, noon

Whenever everything is, whenever it’s not, too

Whenever we’re just energy

I’m getting existential

But he makes me wanna get pencils and fill out Scantrons

Write things, take walks, visit a damn farm

Be calm, be a mom…

A bit of a jump there, yes

Apologies for that though, truth

Ain’t no better quality to boost

If I lose him to somebody it’s because

I never really had him

And my love is fantastic

So it’s fear

Nothing in the universe comes close, my dear

Pedantic, romantic, hopeless

Maybe he’ll just hear this now and know this…

Maybe he’ll just hear this now and know…