Ol' Rosco - Les Claypool

Have you seen ol' Rosco

He likes to drink when he drives

Have you seen ol' Rosco

I wouldn’t be a bit surprised

If he’s out there now

Driving like mad

Swerving and weaving

Thinks he’s a model dad

Like a bastard he’s grinning

With teeth full of bugs

Headin' home from the brewery

The old lunch time chug-a-lug

Have you seen ol' Rosco

He doesn’t think when he drives

Have you seen ol' Rosco

I am a bit surprised

That they haven’t nailed him

For drivin' like a fool

Except maybe that one time

Drivin' his daughter home from dancin' school

You see the caught him red-nose slurring

He blew a .09

Made his wife come and get him

Paid him a 200 dollar fine

Have you seen ol' Rosco

He’s too damn drunk to drive

Seen him pissin' in the bathroom

That’s when he gave me the evil eye

I said, «Boy I think you had too many

Why don’t you give up them keys?»

He told me to mind my business

Said he’s, said he’s gonna do as he damn well please

So I ordered hot coffee

An an Oly on tap

I put the Oly to my lips

Then I poured the hot coffee in his lap

Have you seen ol' Rosco

He wasn’t supposed to drive

He left here three hours ago

His wife says he never arrived

He could be out there bleedin'

In the bottom of some ditch

Some say it serves him right

The selfish sons-a-bitch

But this time he went head on

With a purple PT Cruiser

Came out without a scratch

That’s the dumb luck of a boozer

Have you seen ol' Rosco

They say he’s lucky to be alive

As for the driver of the Cruiser

I’m told she may not survive

And she’s the mother of three

Well, two for sure

See, the one in her belly

Had to be taken premature

Now Rosco feels bad

Afraid he might get sued

Good thing he’s incorporated

You see, not as much risk to lose

Have you seen ol' Rosco

Now they won’t let him drive

His son takes him bar hopping

He slips some drinks on the side

His wife’s always bragging

How he ain’t drank in a while

Just afternoon nappin'

Life’s great in denial

Life’s great in denial