Iwiwal - Loudon Wainwright III

I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero

I wouldn’t have mess with men and all their come and go

And all that awful facial hair and yucky machis’mo!

I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!

I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn’t straight

I’d sleep with women only—man, it would be great

I could throw away my diaphragm, I wouldn’t wanna mate

I wish I was a lesbian, and that I wasn’t straight, hey!

I wish I was a lesbian, I’d like to be a dyke

I would hang with K. D. Lang—Mel Gibson, take a hike!

I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike

I wish I was a lesbian, I’d like to be a dyke!

I wish I was a lesbian, that’s why this song is sung

It shouldn’t have to matter how someone is hung

Other things are more important—like how you use your tongue!

I wish I was a lesbian, that’s why this song is sung!

(I dare Casey Kasem to play this!)

I wish I was a lesbian I know it’s sad but true

But maybe I might understand you guys and all you do

But if I was a lesbian, I wouldn’t have to!

I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero

I wouldn’t have to deal with men and all their come and go

And all that awful facial hair and yucky machis’mo

(I hate that damn machis’mo!)

I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!