Maf - Momus

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Murder in Whitechapel

Down the Grave Maurice

Maf, a star of Music Hall

Gunned down mid-song

By unknown assailants

So I confess I couldn’t bear being less famous

Oh what misfortunes in this day and age

Befall the Whitechapel music hall stage!

A variety PacMan, I swallowed his fame

There and then, when I gunned poor Matthew down

(Murder most 'orrible)

Maf had it all, the love of the public

The wit of Lennie Bruce, Bill Hicks, and Peter Cook

Beautiful women, a daughter called Ushka

A career in music hall, Bathshebas and babushkas

Oh what misfortunes occur in this age

You can never be sure you’ll leave the stage

As you came on it

A fat Space Invader, I flattened his fame

That day I gunned poor Matthew down

(I 'ope you’re ashamed of yourself)

Singer, philanderer, drinker and coprophile

Born in Batley, Leeds, adorned in orange rosary beads

'I am nobody' engraved on the bracelet

He wore around his wrist in Dickensian copperplate

I made my confession to Didsbury police

I’d hoped to kill Morrissey, but neither of us could get arrested

Oh what misfortunes, what sufferings and pain

I have brought upon the halls of old Brick Lane!

(Or could he be sane?)

(To my eternal shame)

Read all about it!

Murder in Whitechapel

Down the Grave Maurice

Momus, star of Music Hall

Gunned down mid-song --