Nudge Nudge - Monty Python, Andre Jacquemin

Man: 'Evening, squire!

Squire: (stiffly) Good evening.

Man: Is, uh,…Is your wife a goer, eh?

Know whatahmean, know whatahmean,

nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?

Squire: I, uh, I beg your pardon?

Man: Your, uh, your wife, does she go, eh, does she go, eh?

Squire: (flustered) Well, she sometimes «goes», yes.

Man: Aaaaaaaah bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, say no more,

knowwhatahmean, nudge nudge?

Squire: (confused) I’m afraid I don’t quite follow you.

Man: Follow me.

Follow me.

That’s good, that’s good!

A nod’s as good as a wink

to a blind bat!

Squire: Are you, uh,…are you selling something?

Man: SELLING!

Very good, very good!

Ay?

Ay?

Ay?

(pause) Oooh!

Ya wicked Ay!

Wicked Ay!

Oooh hooh!

Say No MORE!

Squire: Well, I, uh…

Man: Is, your uh, is your wife a sport, ay?

Squire: Um, she likes sport, yes!

Man: I bet she does, I bet she does!

Squire: As a matter of fact she’s very fond of cricket.

Man: 'Oo isn’t?

Likes games, eh?

Knew she would.

Likes games, eh?

She’s been around a bit, been around?

Squire: She has traveled, yes.

She’s from Scarsdale.

(pause)

Man: SAY NO MORE!

Man: Scarsdale, saynomore, saynomore, saynomore, squire!

Squire: I wasn’t going to!

Man: Oh!

Well, never mind.

Dib dib?

Is your uh, is your wife interested in…

photography, ay?

«Photographs, ay», he asked him knowlingly?

Squire: Photography?

Man: Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more?

Squire: Holiday snaps, eh?

Man: They could be, they could be taken on holiday.

Candid, you know,

CANDID photography?

Squire: No, no I’m afraid we don’t have a camera.

Man: Oh.

(leeringly) Still, mooooooh, ay?

Mwoohohohohoo, ay?

Hohohohohoho, ay?

Squire: Look… are you insinuating something?

Man: Oh, no, no, no… yes.

Squire: Well?

Man: Well, you’re a man of the world, squire.

Squire: Yes…

Man: I mean, you’ve been around a bit, you know, like, you’ve, uh…

You’ve «done it»…

Squire: What do you mean?

Man: Well, I mean like,…you've SLEPT, with a lady…

Squire: Yes…

Man: What’s it like?