Crystal Beaches Never Turned Me On - Neon Blonde

I’m the neon rat hiding in the palm trees

Watching midwestern tourists guzzle giant martinis

We were part time lovers on prime time TV

Her name was Esmerelda, the smart but sexy type

A young housewife, in Hawaiian mansion alright…

Crystal beaches on TV

Perfume dumped into sea

Bleached smile shaved bikini

Every thing you want but will never be

Her husband was a CEO

She spent her nights all alone

You fall in love with her misery

She’s like a tan version of you with plastic surgery

Enter the sophisticated brute, with VIP attitude

He the recurring character you love to hate, the back door boy

Now I’m the neon rat with a mouth full of grinning sharp dentures

Sleeping in a married woman’s bedcover’s, a televised affair with million

dollar commercials

Yeah this is the 1-hour holiday special

Where Esmerelda’s husband comes home from work and walks in on the two of us in

the shower

He breaks down in tears on the bathroom floor

Close up on his face frowning like a slit open throat

Then cut to a commercial

Crystal Beaches on TV

Sunset on the digital sea

Shaved smiled bleached bikini

Paradise’s legs are spread just out of reach

Those tears streaming down your face

Are dollar signs for the marketing team

Will she leave her bland husband?

You just have to wait till the start of next season

You’ll just have to go back to your job selling lingerie at the shopping mall

Those diets that never work, those blind dates with fucking jerks

Crystal Beaches on TV

Crystal Beaches you’ll never see

Crystal Beaches got you hooked

And I’m the neon rat inside your pocketbook