7" Singles - Paul Heaton, Jacqui Abbott

The 12″ disco mix

Just put it on the jukebox, grab yourself a lager

See what the needle predicts

We had the country and Western, a dodgy little section

With Jerry Lee Lewis and gang

'From A Jack To A King', to secure prison wing

But, still, the whole tavern, they sang

Dolly Parton was queen

Billy Joel the boss

We were uptown, downtown, little bit of Motown

With Marvin Gaye and Diana Ross

All the punters would sing

And you’d be joinin' in too

'Red Red Wine', 'Everybody Hurts'

And 'Don't It Make Your Brown Eyes Blue'

So barman, don’t be a tease

Now we’re down on our knees

Plug that Wurlitzer back in

For the hes and the shes

Well, we’re begging you, please

For the Peter and Leighs

Stick another 50p in

And make it out-and-out cheese

Then there were the tightwads, going to the jukebox

Put in solitary 5p

Worked out that Pink Floyd, anything by Meatloaf

Was longer than your 10cc

Arguing the B side’s better than the A side

Denying what you actually put on

Pretending that you hate it, you don’t even rate it

But catch yourself singin' along

Neil Diamond was king

Elton John #1

It was a working-class hymn, but the one congregation

The Church really wished to be gone

Sang 'Give Peace a Chance'

With Yoko Ono and John

'Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting'

And 'Where Have All The Boot Boys Gone'

So barman, don’t be a tease

Now we’re down on our knees

Plug that Wurlitzer back in

For the hes and the shes

Well, we’re begging you, please

For the Peter and Leighs

Stick another 50p in

And make it out-and-out cheese

So barman, don’t be a tease

Now we’re down on our knees

Plug that Wurlitzer back in

For the hes and the shes

Well, we’re begging you, please

For the Peter and Leighs

Stick another 50p in

And make it out-and-out cheese