Natasha Lost - Phillipa Soo

I smile, I shake

And the opera continues

And I’m quite submissive to the world I am in

My previous life is slipping away from me

My distant past is gone, is gone

And the rest of the night

I can’t take my eyes from him

His glittering eyes

And his tender smile

And as I am leaving

Flushed and nervous

He touches my arm

And I turn around

And he’s looking at me

With his glittering eyes

And his tender smile

O God!

I am lost!

How could I let him?

Everything is dark, obscure, and terrible

I don’t understand this

Oh God, I am lost!

Back in the theater, full of lights

Where tenors jumped about in tinsel jackets

Young girls and old men cried «Bravo!»

in rapture

There it all seemed simple

But now, alone,

I am tortured

My conscience gnaws away at my heart

Am I spoiled for Andrey’s love or not?

Oh, I can soothe myself with irony:

Nothing!

It was nothing

I didn’t lead him on at all

No one will ever know

I’ll never see him again

Nothing has happened

And Andrey can love me still

Oh, God, why isn’t he here?

And yet it was like there was nothing between us

No veil, no modesty

Just his face and strong hands

His glittering eyes

And his tender smile

That bold handsome man who pressed my arm