Gone For Good - Ray Stevens

As she kissed me goodbye she kicked my birddog

Rolled a stick of dynamite under my pickup

Released the breaks on my dear old mother’s wheel chair

Pushed it down the hill into the path of a speeding semi-truck

Then she shot the propane tank with my deer rifle

Turned our love nest into one big pile o' wood

I hate to be a pessimist but I sense something in her kiss

And I’m afraid this time she might be gone for good

As she backed out of the drive she hit my Harley

Drug it underneath her car down to the street

Took a baseball bat to my «See Rock City» mailbox

Hollered something at me that I can’t repeat

Then she whistled for our neighbor and she come a' runnin'

And they drove off laughin' through our neighborhood

I know they say that love is blind but I think she’s givin' me a sign

And I believe this time she might be gone for good

Yes, I’m afraid this time she might be gone for good

No… Wait!

I was wrong… She’s coming back…

Hey baby…

Huh… What’s this?.. A new bowling ball?

With a sparkler in it?.. Hey wait…

Where ya goin'?..

Well, well don’t run off again… Hey, Thelma!!!

You and Louise come back here, ya hear!

Wait a minute…

This ain’t no bowlin' ball… Why, it’s a (BLAM!)

This time, she might be gone for good… Timber!

(Plop!)