Wallowing - Ryan Caraveo

Sometimes I feel crazy

Like I lost half of my mind

Moving outta decline

Without a ladder to climb

And half of the time

I feel like I’m actually fine

Battling my personality’s a habit of mine

I have it in line

Until I start to think

I zoned off so long I forgot to blink

Till my hands go numb and I drop my drink

And the bath keeps fillin' while I start to sink

My heart just shrinks

While I drown in the tub

Phone ringing but I can’t hear the sound of the buzz

Feelin' like paradise after downing them drugs

I don’t think it’ll kill me but I’m down if it does

An' as I drown in the silence

The phone ringing by the sink starts soundin' like a siren

Heard mama’s voice saying this is real life shit

Boy I didn’t raise you to be nothing like this

You better start fightin'

And if you can’t swing em' hands little man

Then you better start bitin'

You better start breathin'

You got a little brother

He needs someone to look upto and to believe in

You too young to be leaving

And you and the man up above ain’t even

Pain and regret

I’m laying right between 'em

I’ve had ten drinks and I still haven’t eaten

Head keeps pounding

Heart still beatin'

Water starts bubbling cause I start screamin'

Climbed out the tub and I started dry heavin'

Thinking that it’s time that I slaughtered my demons

I, let it sink in until the moons gone

I’m done feelin' hollow

I been wallowin' too long

How can I sit and not bother to move on

When I got a dream and a father to prove wrong

I mean I gotta keep fightin' this

I made it this far after all types o' shit

Still haven’t grown

Haven’t had a wife and kids

I mean I’m, nineteen with a life to live

And sometimes it gets a lot harder than this

Think it’s no good for you but a part of it is

Don’t agree please pardon me then

And Lord keep watching incase I fall off again