Three-Legged Man - Steve Goodman

Now friends you’d never guess it

So I might as well confess it

I just met the sweetest woman of my long dismal life

And a friend of mine says buddy

In case your mind is muddy

Don’t you know that girl you’re talkin' to is

Peg Leg Johnson’s wife?

That man is big and ugly and he’s mean and grim

And he’s gonna kick your ass with his artificial limb

But next morning bright and early

I ran off with Peg Leg’s girlie

And I also took his wooden leg just to play it safe

But there weren’t no time for laughter

Cause he started hoppin' after

And I keep on runnin' faster but he won’t give up the chase

And I’m running around the mountain with his bride

And I got his goddamn leg here by my side

And I’m a three-legged man with a two-legged woman

Being chased 'round the country by a one-legged fool

He’s a hoppin' and a floppin' and he shows

No sign of stoppin'

And I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel

From the mountains and valleys

Across the dark Chicago alleys

From the Rocky Mountain waters

To the hills of Caroline

In and out of Pennsylvania

Up and down the Allegheny

Every time I turn around

He is just one foot behind

And I know he’s gettin' tired and wet and sick

But in spite of all his problems he can’t kick

And I’m a three-legged man with a two-legged woman

Being chased 'round the country by a one-legged fool

He’s a hoppin' and a floppin' and he shows

No sign of stoppin'

And I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel

He must be ragged and filthy by now

And I’ve been feeling sorta guilty ever since

That morning last week

When I heard him plead and beg

Says in spite of all your stealin'

I won’t bear you any hard feelings

I know Margie doesn’t love me, but give me back my leg

Because although the leg you meant to take was wooden

In the dark there by mistake you took the good one

And I’m a three-legged man with a two-legged woman

Being chased 'round the country by a one-legged fool

He’s a hoppin' and a floppin' and he shows

No sign of stoppin'

And I tell you boys this life

And I tell you boys this life

And I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel