Analysis - Telethon

The last time

I was comfortable

I was stopped at this gas station in South Dakota

Breathing lightly

Breathing open air

One full day left but I didn’t really care

I was all alone

Had a steady goal

I’d found my passion

Just so happens it was waiting in the west

When I remember that

I get a wistful look

It’s half nostalgic

Half disgusted

Because it’s so textbook

Here’s this kid

He’s got big dreams

Nothing will take them away

He doesn’t mind fluorescent lights

Spending entire days inside

And I hate the way that feels

When you don’t realize that you’re naive

Till you rewind the tape and see

How that’s crushed you

That you were never quite as free as it seemed

I’m a pillar

I’ve got it all together

I punch walls sometimes

I’ve got scars on both my hands

I can’t explain that

And if people ask

I say I got them playing football in the 7th grade

Cause I don’t like the impression it gives

Nowadays when you let on that your brain is lived in

Face it, kid

You don’t have much ground to walk on

But that’ll come

Just give it time

Do you still want it?

You know you want it

It’s what you came for

It’s what you quote-unquote live for

So put up your fists

Don’t let anyone in

They’ll trust you then

They’ll respect you then

Is it genuine?

Who cares?

By the time I finished high school

I was insufferable

By the end of freshman year

Unrecognizable

Caring too much

Oversharing to oblivion

Made sure that folks were cognisant of conditions I was living in

I still do that from time to time, but I catch it now

And justify ‘It had to be, and this is how'

It’s weird and if I dwell it really bums me out

So, in turn, I ignore it which usually winds up OK

A stain, sure, but I don’t let it fuck up my day

The deprecation knocks but it’s belated

The murmurs in my skull remind analysis is overrated

When I was a kid

Did I imagine I’d have this set of predicaments and sins?

Given the choice to begin again

I wouldn’t, here’s why

On the surface I’m a lucky guy

Got a job, I’ve got a home

Got a gym membership

But yet there’s still a couple hours

Out of every 24

I feel like