Tiny Rushes - Telethon

Sorry, still at home right now

I’m caught up in this spiderweb

This lonesome crowded wasteland

Oh, mankind

I had not expected

I’d be here on a third consecutive night

Yet here I am regardless

Spending time

And spending money I don’t have to spend

My time and money here but still I do

A habit that’s enabled by a tiny rush of dopamine

Whenever

I leave raw thought on a page that isn’t mine

No one requested it but

They sometimes pay it mind

I’m high

I feel better here

Until the brush is cleared and I’m revealed

A lonesome, tired bearded man

Mid-20s

Passing through

In blue jeans, midnight, up to nothing

Layered windows

Untitled folders on his desktop

Big ideas scatter and they whine

Dump out as quick as they arrived

He’s lost the pigment in his skin

His friends and family worry

That he’s lost all his affection

As the tiny rush of dopamine

Lures him in again

But this time was different