The Bride Stripped Bare (By The Batchelors) - The Bonzo Dog Band

We arrived at the gig looking rough

Not happy, we’d all had enough

Of eight hours on the road

(blast)

Legs Larry said he, «It's the boozer for me, dear boy.»

«Yip, yip, yessiry.»

And the hotel reception was empty and cold

With 'orrid red wallpaper forty years old

It stank like a rhino house!

Mr. Slater said, «Oh, I can smell Vindaloo!»

«Oh, really?»

«No sir, O’Reilly!»

Hobnob

And we wave to the people who frown

At our hair as we ride into town

And Chalky and Nozz had set up the gear

In the club where the Dohl Pal Show would appear

In person as themselves

(arf, arf)

In person as themselves

Then Neil, Fred and I played darts for a while

Before we switched on our theatrical smile

Hey, you remember!

Hot dogs on sale in foyer!

Eyy…

«You can have a drink in your dressing room, lads, but you can’t come into club

looking like that.

We can’t oblige!

Thank you.»

«Hey, Redneck!»

«We've had 'em all 'ere, you know… Tommy Raye…»

«Aye…»

«That's a brand new scratch on the piano, cost you seventy-five quid to put

that right.»

«Whoa, 'oo did that?»

«I remember one time--»

«And Buddy ??!»

«Aye.»

«Put off all thought though, in here, dunnit?»

«Whoa, what?»

«Will you take your empty glasses back to the bar!»

«Any 'artistes' messing in football will be paid off, immediately.»

«Hoover!»

«It's not for meself, lads, it’s for me daughter.»

«Five pints of lager and one Coke!»

«You got me, lads, it’s the manager that makes the rules.»