Two Handed Handshake - The Hold Steady

His two handed handshake

Says he’s so glad to meet you

His one silver earring

Says he parties on weekends

He churns through the channels

When he’s watching the TV

He recites lines from movies

When he’s trying to be funny

Guys, it’s like we’re not even trying

Yeah, she danced with that one guy

She must know we’re watching

It seems like less people

Than were here just last weekend

She’s still pretty pissed

About her ex’s new trick

There were stares

And glares and names

Girls, you know you’re not really helping

I don’t think that you’ll find love

In some bathroom at some club

I know some kids who didn’t come back

We had First Ave on Fridays

We’re pirates at port

We go in and we get high

Two at a time

We get drunk on the sports

We’re falling into bed

With our television sets

We’re watching movies

That we’ve already seen

Guys, it’s like we’re not even trying

You dress like contestants

At some desparate paegent

You fall asleep in your makeup

You wake up with a blemish

You’re making up your mind

About the drinks after work

It’s such a gossipy office

Girls, you’re gonna find someone

You don’t have to rush it

You’re too young to force your crushes

You don’t have to rush it

You’re too young to fake your crushes

Guys, I’m pretty sure that we can put it back together

And girls, you gotta try to be nice to one another

Guys, I’m pretty sure that we can put it back together

And girls, you gotta try to be nice to one another

I don’t think we’ll get the truth

From kids with stickers on their boots

I know some kids who didn’t come back

From the plywood painted black

We gotta try a little harder

We gotta be a little better

We gotta pull it back together