The Middle Distance - The Riot Before

«Somewhere in the east: early morning: set off at dawn, travel round in front

of the sun, steal a day’s march on him.

Keep it up for ever never grow a day

older technically.»

--James Joyce, Ulysses

Waking up with the sunrise

Running fast enough to the west

Forever fallow your shadow

Never allowing it to shorten

It’s a youth without ever ending

It’s a death with nothing to show

Just a life spent negating

Screaming no, no, not what I wanted at all

In between the two letters

The firsts in the alphabet

Navigating the expanse

Separating them on a map

Is a swamp covered over in water

Overgrown over sediment

That’ll bury a traveller

Sinking slow slow slow till it’s all overhead

Down down down

So we fight to flee towards the lives that we wanted

Leave behind all the murdered air

Then find we aren’t what we were when we started

Lost, old, removed from the things we once cared

How those years start to weigh

How the reflexes slow

How the passionate days

Grow increasingly dull

There is so much to say

When the tide is out low

But it is trite it is vain

When the moon starts to pull

There’s a space in the seam between hate sewn to love

And I know what it means to live in the undone

When you’ve stopped your retreat but you’re unsure at what

You want to re-raise your gun

If you should re-raise your gun

I’ve been lost in between all the gaps separating the atoms

I’ve been trapped in the billboard fonts lining the highways

All I want is the middle distance

Where the solids have definition

To risk defeat find meaning without just running away