Psychopathic Psychiatric Care - Twiztid

Skit:

Hello and welcome to Psychopathic Psychiatric Assistance!

Please listen to the automated menu and choose from the following options that

best fit your mood and/or symptoms

If you suffer from necrophilia press one, but we highly doubt you’re suffering

If you are obsessive compulsive, press two one hundred times

If you have multiple personalities, press three, four, five, and six

If you are delusional, press seven and your call will be transferred to Niberau

If you are co-dependent ask someone to press eight for you

If you are paranoid we know who you are, what you want, and we’re going to kill

you

Press nine and stay on line long enough so that we may trace your call

If you are depressive it really doesn’t matter which number you press because

no one cares about you and we don’t either

71 717 171 press dyslexic are you if

If you have low self-esteem you should probly hang up as your call isn’t worth

our time

If you’re schizophrenic we’re confident the voices in your head will tell you

which secret number to press

If you have short-term memory loss do you seriously remember what you’re

calling about?

If you have a nervous disorder place your shaken hands on the phone and press

whatever numbers you can until you hear a…