How Come - Vin Jay

How come I could never escape

And how come I still feel so afraid

And how come I denied my faith

And drown out the darkness

These thoughts that consume my head

Lately I can never seem to escape

I’ve been a victim of my thoughts and every single mistake

Feel like clarity is a drug and I just need me a taste

So I can find a right path, please show me the way

Cause I’ve been searchin' way below the surface

Feel like I’ve been turned into a whole different person

Treating all the ones I love like they’re a burden

So when they all pass I know that I’ll feel worthless

I’m trying to live a better life

And I’ve been working for it every night

I tell my self «don't get distracted 'til your bread is right»

I’m never spending time with family 'cause they barely understand me

If they look into my mind they’ll see what hell is like

I’m drowning, liquor that I’m doused in

Never helped shit but it’s quicker then some counseling

Always by myself, still I feel like I’m surrounded

Say my family’s proud but I truly fucking doubt it

Like what could they say «Way to go Vin, way to leave us back here,

Way to be a completely different person then last year,

Only hit us up when you got a reason to brag,

Yeah push us out of the way just to guarantee that your path clear»

How come I could never escape

And how come I still feel so afraid

And how come I denied my faith

And drown out the darkness

These thoughts that consume my head

Hey Vin, it’s us again, it’s your family

We know your probably working on music or something fancy

You made it real clear that we are less important that Grammy’s

And we are really glad to see that your life without us is happy

You bough a house with some rap money, congrats, bro

It really helps with the fact that you are leaving dad broke

He’s almost 60 so way to ruin he’s last hope

He can’t retire, we are glad that you’re swimming in cash tho

And don’t forget that you left your nephew and niece

From the moment they were born and like barely able to breathe

Hope you’re not too traumatized and it’s not affecting your sleep

Well we know it’s not, 'cause when we call you don’t wanna speak

Man, you really got to wonder if you truly feel empathy

So focused on your future that you threat us like a memory

Call us all your family but is more like we’re your enemies

And everybody praise you for the person you pretend to be

Celebrity boy, you’re so famous

Find yourself worth in the money, that’s dangerous

That’s why you either get paid or get wasted,

You’re runnin' from the truth, no wonder your so anxious

You’re not looking well, I mean we are only looking out for your health

But you are a selfish motherfucker lookin' out for yourself

Trade the love and your family for a mountain of wealth

Then write a fucking song about us, so your album could sell

Man, what a sick joke, turning on your kinfolk

Think we liked you better all those days that you sniffed coke

Get it in the open even though you wanted tip-toe

As it probably turned you into a motherfuckin' schizo

Accept your faith, say you love us but that shit so fake

You becomin' everything you hate, you barely show your face

And by the time you recognize what truly matters

Motherfucker, it’s gonna be too late

How come I could never escape

And how come I still feel so afraid

And how come I denied my faith

And drown out the darkness

These thoughts that consume my head