Legato Gelato - Zach Sherwin

I’m at the club scene where I met Miss Green Eyes

She said, «I can tell by the size of your schnoz

That you’re Zach Sherwin, and I’m totally TWI!»

I said, «Oh, you’re a Nas fan also?

That’s great!

We have so much in common!

We’re clearly soulmates who were fated to date!»

She said «Hold up and wait

I’m flattered -- you’re coming in too fast and hot though

You need to be more legato gelato.»

I said, «What?

Legato gelato?

That’s a slang term whose meaning I do not know!

But I’m intrigued by the sound of it…»

She said «Well let me break it down a bit

You might know the word 'legato' if you’ve ever studied music before

If you see it written down on a musical score

Then the composer is directing you

To play or sing all the notes smoothly and connected to the others

With no breaks in between

Now let me demonstrate a little bit and you can see what I mean.»

She sang, «Laaa, laaa, laaa: that’s legato

Not, la-la-la;

that’s staccato

The opposite of what legato is

And don’t tell me that you don’t know what gelato is!»

I said, «Yes, I sure do, it’s a dessert

That you gotta keep ice cold in the freezer

And now I’m no longer dazed and confused

Now I think I understand the phrase that you used

Does it mean 'keep it chill?'» She said «Yep.»

I said «Thought so.

Smooth and cool!

Legato gelato!»

Once again, it’s legato gelato!

Smooth like legato, cool like gelato!

It’s my new catchphrase, it’s my new buzzword, it’s my new motto:

Legato gelato

And check this out: take the word «legato.»

Now take the «l» and the «g» and switch the two spots

And look what you’ve got.

Whoa!

«Legato» TURNS INTO «gelato!»

I said «Ok, I’m taking things slow and I get the lingo

Can I give you a ring?»

«No,» she said, «I don’t think so

You came on too strong, I felt smothered and

I need a loverman

Who won’t let me have the upper hand.»

I said, «Nah, miss, you got it wrong

You’re a character I made up for my 'Legato Gelato' song

You don’t exist if I don’t imagine you

How 'bout that for high status, boo?»

She said, «Damn!

Now THAT was legato gelato!

Way to step it up with that macho bravado!

Take me home now, you wild stallion

But first do a victory lap rap as a finale, hon.»

I said, «Okay, I’m smooth and glossy

And frosty as autumn in Oslo

When the temperature drops as low

As the cost of shopping at Costco

Fluid and easy and keeping it cool

Like I’m eating a soup of gazpacho

'Cause I do it legato with a scoop of gelato.»