Cape and Stick Gang - Momus

Word comes down on the party line

All the suckers on the grapevine are saying:

'Look out boys, here come the Capes and Sticks!'

And they jitter with the funk down Bulblight Lane

When the phone in the phonebox rings again

And it’s the Cape and Stick Gang saying 'Just hang around

And we’ll stick it to you quick!'

We’re the Cape and Stick Boys

Whistling Lillie Langtry

How we laugh when we hear them sigh

The girls who never catch our eye

Wear capes and carry sticks

And the gang is gay

And the rookie’s in the alley with his home-made drag in a polythene bag

And the rookie say 'Uh oh, looks like I got out the wrong side of my bed today!'

Cos the Capes and Sticks are waiting for him

And they pierce his ears with a safety pin

And the rookie’s trying to laugh it off saying

'I was thinking of doing that anyway'

They mount a double-decker with their Lyons Maids

Sit down on either side of a girl with braids

With too much lipstick on her too-thin lips

And a handbag made of lizard

And the Cape in front of her charms her

Smiles in her face and disarms her

And when they kiss the Stick behind her

Cut off her braids with a pair of folding scissors

Singing:

We’re the Cape and Stick Boys

Lillie is our heroine

We play pool all through the air raid

Rape machines in the game arcade

Wear capes and carry sticks

And the gang is gay

Well they don’t need knives for their sweet attacks

Just the sticks they keep down the front of their slacks

Big as a family heirloom, Daddy’s randy hand me-down

And for a couple of crowns they’ll take you to the docks

Whistling Lillie as they pull out their cocks

Drag you to the top of the gantry

Dangle you fifty feet above the ground, singing:

We’re the Cape and Stick Boys

Whistling Lillie Langtry

How we laugh when we hear them sigh

The girls who never catch our eye

Wear capes and carry sticks

And the gang is gay

And on every man’s hip there’s a thermos flask

If you want a sip all you’ve got to do is ask

Maybe it’s bromide tea or maybe ecstasy

They kiss the girls and make them cry

Then they kiss the boys, they’re real bi-guys

And we’ve all got to die some way, some day

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