The Night The Bar Closed Down - Rodney Carrington

The bar will soon be closing

And lights they´re all turned down

Theres 3 girls in a corner booth

The fat one she´s passed out

Her friends they called me over

And it turned out she was stuck

With the help of 4 big bouncers

We put her in my truck

Me & old Jack Daniels

Had been together most of the night

Somehow he´d convinced me

She was the prettiest thing in sight

I got her home I opened the door

And I rolled her to my bed

The lights came on she opened her eyes

And this is what she said…

Wmmmm… wmmmm …wmmmmmmm

Wmmmm… wmmmm.wmmmmmmm.wmmm!

Morning came, that sun was up & there to my surprise

Was a big old girl with no clothes on

And Oprah Winfrey thighs

I sat up & fear set in

I found we were alone

She said that she was hungry

Whilst she was nibbling on a chicken bone

The words she said next scared me

And today the haunt me still

She said I hope you´ve got a steady job cowboy

I said why´s that sheila

She said I´m not on the pill thats why

I said oh!

With that in mind I tried to run

Lord I tried to get away

She ran me down & hopped on top

And here´s all I could say

Huh oh wmmmm.

get off me… wmmmm …wmmmmmmm

Wmmmm.ohh your crushing me.wmmmm.wmmmmmmm

Get off ohohoh.

wmmmahh get off me you Heffer!