Imperial Bathroom - Tim Heidecker

What’s stronger than diamonds?

What’s tougher than US steel?

What comes out once a week

After Sunday’s meal?

It’s gonna kill him

It’s gonna knock him dead

When he pushes it out

His face turns red

Trump’s dumps

They’re coming out black

There’s too much KFC

Trump’s dumps

They’re hard as a rock

They’re as dense as can be yeah

Monday it’s Pizza Hut

Tuesday is Taco Bell

The rest of the week is steak overcooked

And some ice cream with a chocolate shell

Then he sits on the toilet

He’s like giving birth

A tight wad of faeces

The worst shit on earth

Trump’s dumps

They’re coming out black

There’s too much KFC

Trump’s dumps

They’re as hard as a rock

They’re dense as can be

And a steady supply of diet coke

Won’t loosen the load

And if it keeps it up

It’s guaranteed that his colon explodes

Just like Elvis Presley and Lenny Bruce

He’ll be making number two when it goes Vamoose

In mid-tweet

On the toilet seat

Trump’s dumps

They’re coming out black

There’s too much KFC

Trump’s dumps

They’re as hard as a rock

They’re dense as can be

Oh yeah yeah yeah

Trump’s dumps

They’re as hard as a rock

They’re as hard as a rock oh yeah

Woah woah woah

Trump’s dumps